Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Story Of Mr. Alor

There is this one guy.

He is born in Malaysia and of course he is a Malaysian. And as usual, he has a typical Malaysian kind of name-- Alor.

Mr. Alor dunno why he is named like that. He just know that since he was born, everyone called him Alor. He did not like this name. Unfortunately he had no choice but to stick with it.

As Mr. Alor became older, the more he disliked his name. Everytime he went on holiday tours to other countries using "company's money", he meets with different people from different countries. The more he went outstation, the more he disliked his name.

Finally, after the 15th "holiday tour" and spending nearly RM1.5 mil, he had enough and decided that it's time to change his name.

Now, the question is, change to what name?

Mr. Alor cracked his head for days and nights. He even had a committee to help to get him a new name. It cannot be James, George, Ronaldo, Obama and stuffs like that because he had met enough of them. He wanted something special. A name that will make him feel superior over the others. A name that will make him proud of himself.

Suddenly, a movie posters caught his attention. It's "Superman Returns". It enlightened him.

Therefore, his new name would be named after VENUS a.k.a KEJORA.

What's more special and superior than having a "non-earth name"? Mr. Kejora and his committee members were very excited for this new name thingy and can't wait to share with the whole world about this.

The outcome is really unpleasant. At least for Mr. Kejora.

Everyone around him were against his decision of changing names. His boss dun like it, his friends dun appreciate it, his neighbours dun understand it, even strangers were criticising it.

He forgot that eventhough he thinks that he comes from other planet, he is still living on earth. He is still in Malaysia which has its own culture.

After facing much pressure, especially coming from his boss, Mr. Kejora had no choice but to give in and used back the name that he disliked--Alor.

In Mr. Alor's mind, he was still wondering why changing his name to Kejora was so difficult.

His final conclusion: Most probably the people in Malaysia and on Earth were just jealous about the fact that he is a superman who comes from Venus.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Reasoning Behind All The Sex Scandals

I heard about a story recently.

Once a upon a time, during a session in the parliament, Tunku Abdul Rahman challenged all the MPs to raise up their hand if any of them never had committed adultery before. The end result is that nobody raised up their hand then besides 1 chinese MP.

This story was told by Mr. Tun Ling, ex-president of MCA.

The moral of the story, according to Tun Ling, was that every man sitting at high position in this world has too much energy left over, thus they have to find different ways to release these "energy".

And of course, at the end of his story-telling, Tun Ling said he is not one of them.

Set aside the reliability of the content of the story, it really gives me a new perspective regarding all the famous sex scandals that happened in the long past and recently.

Politic Region
US President--J.F.Kennedy and Bill Clinton
Malaysia ex-Health Minister--Dato Chua Soi Lek
Malaysia c-4 Man-- ?????(unknown figutive)

Celebrity Region
X-Files Actor-- David Duchovny
HK Actor-- Edison Chan

Student Region?!
LimKokWing University--1 guy, 2 girls

(And the list will sure go on and on + those not surfacing yet.)

So, based on my knowledge from the incidents above and by cross-referencing with the message that Tun Ling tried to convey, I had come up with few conclusions on sex scandal.

1. Every man in this world is "naughty" naturally.
2. Every man in this world sure will commit adultery, the matter is whether it is revealed or not. 3. If the man apologize after you have done "something wrong", most likely you will be forgiven.
4. Besides wealth and high position in the society, every man in this world must equip themselves with other skills professional skills eg. photoshooting, video recording in order to capture the girl in this world.
5. Girls in this world will normally like men that are "naughty" and "bad".

And again, respected Tun Ling is not included in the list of the man in this world. He is the only pure soul in this world, not committing the "wrong thing" that every man in this world will do.

Now, I know why no girls like me already.

It is because I have no money, I am a nobody, I dunno photography, and most importantly, I am not naughty.

Shit! Like that I become like Tun Ling already.

No no. I am not refering to myself.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

New Hero Of DOTE

There is this New Hero in WarCraft 4-DOTE (Defense of the Economy) which really impress me. I believe it is the strongest ever hero being created.

Hero Name: M'SIA FINANCE MINISTRY
Primary Damage: 75-90 CHAOS DAMAGE (Weapon Equiped--Incoming UMNO President)
Armor: 50 (UMNO Shield--Damage reduction 90%)

Strength: 66.1
Intelligence: 25.3
Agility: 7.4

Both RANGED and MELEE HERO


Skill No. 1 : Self-Hypnosis.
Just last week, when most of the countries in the world like US, UK, Australia, including our best neighbour Singapore announced that they are planning to come out ways to raise fund to help to save the current market crisis, the Finance Ministry tried to hypnotize everyone that Malaysia is doing good, Malaysia got good corporate governance, Malaysia has no worries, Malaysia this, Malaysia that.... This phenomenon is called entering into "self-protection mode". Normally, this will happen alongside with selectively forgetful disease.

Description: You can enter into "Berserk" state, increase your damage by 20%, makes you think that you "BOLEH"(capable) in doing anything.

Cooldown: Unlimited Use

Rating: 7/10


Skill No. 2: Attitude-Changing (as fast as the weather and some say as women)
1 week later, out of really sudden, the Finance Ministry is coming out with a "3-course meal" menu including the RM5 Billion "borrowed" from KWSP(where all your precious EPF money are stored) to invest in the famous but very unknown and as secretive as the Mafia Organisation--- ValueCap.

Description: You can enter into "Shapeshift" state, which enable you to confuse your enemy(Malaysian People) and create illusions to the other people in the world. Not a very useful skill in combat, but good in escaping from being held responsible.

Cooldown: 7 days

Rating: 5/10


Skill No. 3: To "Kill The Enemy" Without Using Your Own Sword
Want to rescue the economy crisis? No need to use the money from very profitable "private-owned" company Petronas. Just use other people's money, like the taxpayer's money. The benefit of this tactic: No risk, High Return. Loss covered by you, Profit go into my own pocket.
Because in the end, who knows what does the so-called "loan" contract by KWSP consist of? No repayment period, no interest rate, no securities, no nothing. Besides, even there is such thing in the contract, there is still 1 beautiful thing called "substance over form". This tactic is of the highest standard, highly recommended for Malaysia purpose, and track record has proven no failure.

Description: Grant you "Vampiric Aura" and Money-Drain. Approx. RM500 mil sucked per investment made. A very useful skill if you want to "FARM". Farming is important if you wanna buy good and nice equipment in the latter stage of the game eg. the Klang Palace.

Cooldown: When There Is Government Investment

Rating: 8/10


Skill No. 4: High Efficient
This ULTIMATE SKILL is granted by the Malaysia Godlike Party a.k.a UMNO which has absolute power over all Malaysian. When US needs to go through endless debate to approve the US$700 Billion fund of the poor to save the rich, Malaysia just need 1 man to get the job done. Malaysia environment is zone of no-debate. Parliament is just a place for tourists and students for visiting purpose.

Description: You will enter into an AVATAR state. Immune to all magical spells like people's voice(ISA); invulnerable from normal attacks like the law and constitution, equip you with Divine Rapier+250 damage which ensure that all your self-decided policies implemented as fast as rocket.

Cooldown: Unlimited Use

Rating 10/10


With the creation of this new hero, I believe DOTE will be as interesting as usual. If you like to see money being burnt.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

寂寞考

十月, 多雨之秋, 也是多事之秋.

我的身边发生了很多事, 政治上的变动, 经济上的窘境, 通膨的压力, 以及其他的绿豆芝麻的事. 我不说, 你应该也知道吧!

你曾说过, 政治是肮脏的, 所以这篇东西我不会牵扯到肮脏的东西, 哈哈.

前几天刚会马六甲跟我爸庆祝生日, 然后去了未来大嫂的家乡一趟. 所以这几天都在奔波中, 有点累. 想一想12月的考试, 还真的有点担心.

P2, P3, 还有天杀的F5!真希望能够在明年六月毕业, 你会保佑我的吧!

一千五百多个日子, 原来真么快就过去了. 这些日子, 我以为我已经适应没有你的日子.

我以为我喜欢上其他人, 才发觉原来她的背影与你很相似.

我以为, 寂寞它有什么大不了?

但是, 这四年来, 才发现, 却真是寂寞它考倒了我.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

nal geuman ijeohyo

Watched "A Moment To Remember" again after like 3 years.

I thought I have forgotten the plot, just like I thought I have forgotten a lot of other things and feelings, but actually I didn't.

I thought that my mood wouldn't be affected by a korean production, but I just couldn't control the pH level of my nose from dropping below 6.

I thought that I am strong enough to face anything in life, only to realise that all this while I am just ignoring it, keeping it aside. No matter how well I hide it, it will just pop up once in a while, just to remind me of their existence.

"Please Forget Me Now."

But do you know that? There is no eraser in my memory.

And you know this post is not for you because it's written in English! So I am not thinking of you now.

October, please go away.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Waiting For Godot

I read about Samuel Beckett's famous play "Waiting for Godot".

My friend recommended me to check it out so I did.

The play is very simple. 2 men were waiting for someone called "Godot", someone whom 2 of them have no idea how Godot looked like. They just waited and waited and until the whole play finished, that 2 men still waiting for Godot. They did not know why they had to wait for this Godot, they only know they have to wait; they can't do anything else besides waiting.

What kinda nonsense is this? That's my reaction after I finished reading the play.

But then I realised, how irony is this play. Yeah, we human always have to waste our time in waiting; always set some targets while waiting for the results in order to determine how much we are worth of.

Most of the people would think that this play is nonsense too. They thought, where got such idiots? They would never be like that, waiting for dunno what they are waiting.

But, those are the people who will wait and chase for something in life, keep on waiting and keep on chasing.

When you ask them why they need to wait and chase for that something?

"I also dunno why, but I just feel the need to wait and chase for it." will probably be their answer.

In Malaysia, there are these bunch of people are waiting for an annoucement currently. An announcement by that top guy of Malaysia eventhough they dunno what he is gonna announced.

In US, there are also these bunch of people who are always waiting for miracle to happen, to bail them out the current shitty situation, just like in 1992. No wonder heroic action-packed movie like spiderman, superman, batman etc... can sell very well in US.

In Thailand, everyone is also waiting. But nobody know what are they waiting for. 2 prime ministers were down now. Who is the third one? True, nobody knows.

It seems that everyone in the world is waiting for Godot. So, does it mean that everyone of us is a fool?

Friday, October 3, 2008

下雨天

今天迎来十月的第一场雨.




词: 梁心颐
曲: 张杰
主唱: 梁心颐

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
为什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替 陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉溺
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜 怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清哪些差别 结局还能有多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜 怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清哪些差别 结局还能有多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉



就用这首歌来纪念这一天吧! 你应该会喜欢的.